i'M Not Smart
by Gallifrey101
Summary: There's no doubt Sam Puckett has done some stupid things - but out of all the boneheaded, idiotic things she's done, this had to be the dumbest. Oneshot - Seddie! :


It wasn't smart.

It was okay, though. Nothing she ever did was smart.

It wasn't smart when she was five years old and thought a blanket could function as a parachute. Melanie had watched as she jumped off the roof of her old house, screaming, "WHEEEE!" as she plummeted to the ground. Of course, the fun ended when she started sobbing as her arm snapped and her sister ran out of the house, with a sing-song, "I told you so."

It wasn't smart when she left the door open after she took Melanie's dolls and cut off their heads. Her mother had walked in and that little incident landed her in a six month therapy session with a doctor named Harvey that constantly smelt like vinegar. She wasn't mentally disturbed. She was just mad at her sister for stealing her favorite toy monster truck and giving it to a boy Melanie had a crush on.

It _really_ wasn't smart when she discovered the secret world of her mother's credit card and eBay. She doesn't even remember why she felt the need to get that all in one toaster/lawnmower/coatrack. Or that five thousand dollar Abraham Lincoln top hat that turned out to be a knock off, anyway. It had said MADE IN CHINA on the back.

Yes, there was no doubt about it; Sam Puckett had done some stupid things. But out of all the misunderstandings, all the groundings, all the arrests, all the meetings with parents, and overall, all the boneheaded, brainless, idiotic things she'd done, this had to be the dumbest.

She stood in front of Freddie Benson, frozen solid and unmoving. Maybe she could convince him that she was a rock. Then he'd leave for sure.

"I - " He opened and closed his mouth, eyes shooting down to the ground, trying to avoid her blank gaze. He was speechless. This would've been a great time to make her escape but her feet stuck to the ground like they were coated with some extra-strength industrial glue.

She gulped. What did she do now? Say some Sam Puckett line that would be gossiped about forever? Or maybe give him a wedgie while threatening him, because he was never going to speak of this again. _Ever._

"Did you - did you just kiss me?" he asked in awe.

Shiz, he realized. She'd thought that maybe he'd been a little preoccupied and hadn't even noticed. She managed a, "in your dreams, nub," but knew it didn't sound like her normal self. When the stupid, shocked expression didn't leave his face, she sighed. "Just forget it, all right?" She wrenched her feet from the ground and headed to the door.

"What? Sam, no. Stop running away from me!"

She sighed and whipped around. "What do you want me to do, Benson? There's nothing else to say. If the going gets tough, you knock the guy out and ditch him in an alley. You're just lucky I decided to spare your face."

Freddie threw his hands up in the air. "What did I do?! God, why do you have to be so complicated, Sam? Half the time you don't make sense and the other half you spend insulting me! And know you go and do this?! I try to understand you but I can't!"

Sam shook her head. "What? Does your advanced nerd math not teach you how to take a hint? I'm in love with you, stupid! Why can't you get that through your thick dorky skull?!"

Freddie's jaw dropped to the floor. "You're _what?"_

Sam tried to swallow the lump in her throat. Great, another thing to add to her list of screw ups - revealing her biggest secret to the person she was trying to hide it from. Wonderful. She opened her mouth to speak but all that came out was a small squeaking sound. So she slipped out the doorway and onto the streets.

Her feet slapped against the pavement as she ran, two times slower than her heart was pounding against her chest. Of course she had to kiss the nub! How was she gonna face him from now on? Now she would be the pathetic co-star that had a little crush on the tech producer - the tech producer who happened to be in love with her best friend. It was torture enough when it was all inside her head - now she had to deal with it in real life too?

The gray clouds above her seemed to become darker and, without warning, sheets of rain came down from the sky. She swore under her breath. She had somehow ended up running into a dirt park with no shelters but only a small climber that wasn't even big enough for a seven year old. The sky had been dark and threatening all morning but she hadn't even thought to bring an umbrella. Or, for that matter, grab one of the thousands Spencer was using on his new sculptor only made out of the stupid things.

She groaned and slumped against a wall of the pathetic play set, letting the rain soak through her clothes. Why was she so stupid? Was there anything she did that wasn't dumb?

All she needed to do was come up with a game plan. Something to make Freddie forget what had happened in the past ten minutes. Like a memory eraser. Maybe she could bang his head against a rock and he'd get amnesia! Yeah, that could work!

"Sam?" asked a voice and of course, Freddie Benson, the man of her so-called dreams, had followed her. So she was in love with a stalker now? Perfect.

She tried to shrink into the wall, make herself a shadow and disappear like a ninja. It seemed to be working perfectly until he was right in front of her and said, "You know, I can still see you."

Her eyes darted back and forth as she looked for an escape route. But, no, there was no getting away this time. She was soaked to the bone, her hair and clothes clinging to her skin. What could she do? _If the going gets tough, you knock the guy out and ditch him in an alley. _

So that's exactly what she did.

Or, _almost _did.

Her hand flew up and connected with the side of his head. He stumbled backwards and she looked at him hopefully. Did he have amnesia?

"Ow!" he cried and glared at her. "What was that for!?"

Ugh, why did she have to mess everything up? Why couldn't she be Carly? Then Freddie would actually like her and she might be considered smart for once! "I'm sorry," she blurted.

"That's okay," he replied angrily. "The rain will wash away the blood!"

"I don't care about your geeky head!" she snapped. "I meant, I'm just sorry. I'm sorry that I'm such an idiot and for kissing you. I'm sorry I told you when I should've just kept to myself. And I'm so sorry I'm such a complete, idiotic moron!" She angrily kicked the wall she was leaning against and pain shot up her foot. "Are you kidding me!?" she screamed at the wall.

"I need to tell you something Sam," he said, taking hold of her shoulders. Rain drops silently rolled off his eyelashes and down his cheeks. Every inch of her mind was screaming at her to lean in and kiss him again, to run her hands through his wet, rough hair - but it wasn't gonna happen. Because rejection was coming.

She bit the inside of her cheek to restrain herself from screaming. "Fine."

"You _are _stupid."

Sam blinked. Okay, she had braced herself for a broken heart but she didn't need to be insulted too. "Thanks a lot, nubface!"

"No, listen. You are stupid - but you're stupid because you didn't think that I love you even more than you love me."

It was her turn for jaw dropping. "_What_?"

He shook his head with a smile and beads of water flew from his drenched hair. "See?" He moved his hands from her shoulders down to her waist and pressed his forehead against hers. "Clueless," he continued and pressed his lips against hers.

She smiled into his mouth and threw her arms around his neck.

Okay, so maybe she wasn't smart. Maybe she always had been a clueless moron. But look where it lead her! Making out with her favorite nub in the rain. Maybe being stupid had it's up sides.

As long as her and Freddie Dipwad Benson could be stupid together.

** Thanks for reading! Just a little oneshot I wrote to pass the time :) Hoped you liked it and please, please review! **

**-Gallifrey101**

**PS: For those of you who read my other fics, I'm working on a new chapter for iSlip Up! :)**


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